like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Boobs speak an international language.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
