I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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