i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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