is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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