I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
