I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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