Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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