I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
