I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
