how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
