I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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