I have demons in me.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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