Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
