who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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