I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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