omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
