I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
