Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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