gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
