Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
