who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize