The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
