Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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