took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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