i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I wish I only lived at night.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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