Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
