Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
