He kissed a someone with a penis
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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