Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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