I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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