I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
porn star boner night. come get it.
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It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
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Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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