All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
