Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
