Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
