either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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