Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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