Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
