I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
