don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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