Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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