just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
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It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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