all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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