Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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