"it" just moved
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
do nipples grow back?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
