does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
