He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
its liver damage thursday
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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