She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
