Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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