If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My feet surprised me
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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