some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
