Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize