arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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