Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
