Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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