New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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