i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
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Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
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IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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