This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
