Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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