i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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