Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
